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Jul. 29th, 2005 08:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kribbanI have kind of a problem.
I'm so freaking confused. I don't know who I am to begin with but in addition to that I don't know who I am sexually.
Short version: My relationship with Malin went from sexual/romantic to platonic in the last couple of years. That doesn't mean we didn't love each other or that we weren't committed to each other. We were just life partners without the romance/sex.
I don't consider myself lesbian. I just consider myself to have loved Malin very, very much. I also have a problem considering myself just stand up straight. Malin has Disassociative Identity Disorder, or something like it. Some of her personalities are male. I've had relationships/crushes on them.
I'm a big slash fan. (Though I also read het and f/f, I just basically like a good story. :-) To me the idea of m/m is very attractive. I can very easily imagine myself being a gay man. Sexually, I've always considered myself one. However, in all other aspects - socially, physically etc, I consider myself a woman and so I would never want to change my gender (seeing as sex is only a tiny portion of life.)
Now to the problem - my parents and my brothers believe I am lesbian. Just ordinary lesbian. Now that my relationship with Malin is over I wonder what will happen in the future. I don't think I'm ready for another relationship and I'm definitely not ready for sex. But the possibility is that it might be a man next time, if I can find a bisexual one who is willing to accept both sides of me, lol.
How do I tell my parents now? I want to tell them the truth but I'm afraid that they'll think that I've "grown out of it" or worse, "been cured," or even worse, that I didn't really love Malin.
The sad part is that they had to go to therapy and everything to accept my relationship with Malin and now I'm afraid they'll be upset.
I'm so freaking confused. I don't know who I am to begin with but in addition to that I don't know who I am sexually.
Short version: My relationship with Malin went from sexual/romantic to platonic in the last couple of years. That doesn't mean we didn't love each other or that we weren't committed to each other. We were just life partners without the romance/sex.
I don't consider myself lesbian. I just consider myself to have loved Malin very, very much. I also have a problem considering myself just stand up straight. Malin has Disassociative Identity Disorder, or something like it. Some of her personalities are male. I've had relationships/crushes on them.
I'm a big slash fan. (Though I also read het and f/f, I just basically like a good story. :-) To me the idea of m/m is very attractive. I can very easily imagine myself being a gay man. Sexually, I've always considered myself one. However, in all other aspects - socially, physically etc, I consider myself a woman and so I would never want to change my gender (seeing as sex is only a tiny portion of life.)
Now to the problem - my parents and my brothers believe I am lesbian. Just ordinary lesbian. Now that my relationship with Malin is over I wonder what will happen in the future. I don't think I'm ready for another relationship and I'm definitely not ready for sex. But the possibility is that it might be a man next time, if I can find a bisexual one who is willing to accept both sides of me, lol.
How do I tell my parents now? I want to tell them the truth but I'm afraid that they'll think that I've "grown out of it" or worse, "been cured," or even worse, that I didn't really love Malin.
The sad part is that they had to go to therapy and everything to accept my relationship with Malin and now I'm afraid they'll be upset.
