(no subject)

What a fucked up day this is. I cry but I don't know whether I should cry or laugh. I´ve just come home from school, where I realized that our project will soon be over and I won't have been involved that much with filming. And then I come home, and find weird mail from my employer, giving me money that I shouldn't get. Then as I log on I find an e-mail from my brother telling me that Malin and me, and my brother and his wife are no longer invited to his wedding, because they only want their parents there. I mean, it's a good thing we hadn't already bought the weddingpresent, and the dresses, but it still sucks big time. I really wanted to go. :-( The sad thing is that this was probably the last chance I had to attend and I really love weddings and all kinds of parties. None of my friends wants to get married, my best friend says "yuck" at the mere mention of it, and I am coming to terms with the fact that I am probably never going to get married myself. It's just so sad. And then I call to work and they give me the wrong number to their department in Gothenburg so I call the wrong number *twice* and then when I finally get it right the woman says that there is no mistake, I hadn't got my salary from August and I can use the money with a clear conscience. It feels so fucking bitter... Last week I was praying for money so that we wouldn't have to cancel our trip that we had longed for for so long... Why couldn't I have got this money a couple of days ago? I can't feel happy about this money. It's too late. And we can't go on a trip now, it's too late. Malin doesn't want to go anymore. Now I've got all this money and there is no joy in it. At all. It's just such a fucked up day, sad news and good news at the same time.