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I really, really don't like my mother some times. She called her weekly phone call and somewhere along the line started chiding me. She said she is worried about whether I will find a job because she's worried whether or not I will be able to act appropriately! I've had interviews before and as I pointed out that the last interview I got the job she said that was such a low level job that the interviews I would soon go on would require higher standards in behaviour and attire. She apparently things I'm some little idiot who doesn't know how to be polite! I asked her what kind of clothes she means exactly and she said "you can't show your belly button" (!) What does she think?!
Then she said I must now (that I'm out of school I guess) "start dressing like a 24 year old mature woman and not like an 18 year old girl"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She gave as example my green dress from Thailand that Robert got for me which I wore when we all went out last Monday. It is sleeveless, knee length and has a ribbon that you tie under the bosom in a neat little bow. My mother resolutely untied the bow, pulled the ribbon back and tied it behind my back instead resulting on my figure vanishing behind my eyes. Bosom, bottom, belly; everything. Well apparently that is what "dressing like an adult" means and apparently how my mother wants me to dress from now on.
Then she said I must remove all the dark-brown/red dye from my hair because having an "outrageous" (which I don't even think it is) hair colour might discourage an employer to hire me. She said I was created with my natural hair colour and therefore it suits me best. She also said I *must* cut my hair at least 6 inches. She's always nagging about my long hair, telling me how unkempt and ugly it is. I said (yet again) I won't and then she said "but what if it depends on the hair length". >_<
That's ridiculous! Besides, I don't want to work for an employer who demands that I cut my hair! My mother said "but look at the hairstyles your sister in laws have, why can't you look like them?"
It's like they think everything about me is wrong, and that I must change into what they consider constitues 'adult'. To me an adult is someone who takes care of themselves financially and emotionally, fulfills their duty to society (i.e. pay taxes and obeys the law) and takes responsibility for their actions. To my parents it is someone who has a high status career, dresses and looks in a certain way, has their home decorated in a certain kind of way and spends their past time in a certain kind of way! For instance: writing is only OK if you're aspiring to get published, Internet and e-mail friends are not okay other than as a passing fancy, renting videos and sitting on the balcony too much is bad because it takes away time from "real" past times, such as: having lots of (respectable) friends, being a member of a club, doing sports, travelling all over and going to museums.
Example: When I told mom I was in Amnesty, and explained about writing UAs, she said it's nice but shouldn't I try to join the local chapter - you know, to meet people....
Then she said I must now (that I'm out of school I guess) "start dressing like a 24 year old mature woman and not like an 18 year old girl"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She gave as example my green dress from Thailand that Robert got for me which I wore when we all went out last Monday. It is sleeveless, knee length and has a ribbon that you tie under the bosom in a neat little bow. My mother resolutely untied the bow, pulled the ribbon back and tied it behind my back instead resulting on my figure vanishing behind my eyes. Bosom, bottom, belly; everything. Well apparently that is what "dressing like an adult" means and apparently how my mother wants me to dress from now on.
Then she said I must remove all the dark-brown/red dye from my hair because having an "outrageous" (which I don't even think it is) hair colour might discourage an employer to hire me. She said I was created with my natural hair colour and therefore it suits me best. She also said I *must* cut my hair at least 6 inches. She's always nagging about my long hair, telling me how unkempt and ugly it is. I said (yet again) I won't and then she said "but what if it depends on the hair length". >_<
That's ridiculous! Besides, I don't want to work for an employer who demands that I cut my hair! My mother said "but look at the hairstyles your sister in laws have, why can't you look like them?"
It's like they think everything about me is wrong, and that I must change into what they consider constitues 'adult'. To me an adult is someone who takes care of themselves financially and emotionally, fulfills their duty to society (i.e. pay taxes and obeys the law) and takes responsibility for their actions. To my parents it is someone who has a high status career, dresses and looks in a certain way, has their home decorated in a certain kind of way and spends their past time in a certain kind of way! For instance: writing is only OK if you're aspiring to get published, Internet and e-mail friends are not okay other than as a passing fancy, renting videos and sitting on the balcony too much is bad because it takes away time from "real" past times, such as: having lots of (respectable) friends, being a member of a club, doing sports, travelling all over and going to museums.
Example: When I told mom I was in Amnesty, and explained about writing UAs, she said it's nice but shouldn't I try to join the local chapter - you know, to meet people....
