I didn't get the job

For weeks, I was planning to do this big post "I got a job in my home town! New life chapter starting now! :D"- post.

September 13th I did the uber middle class thing of

-getting up early in the morning and taking a cab to the train station
-taking the train to Arlanda Airport
-getting on a morning flight
-do ~important business meeting~ AKA job interview at the energy company in my home town
~fly back to Arlanda and arrive at home late in the evening

And it was supposed to be this super narratively perfect development of my life, you know?

Twenty-Two years ago, she left
Now she's back, with the skills she honed

All of these logistic plans: redesigning my flat to make a home office, commuting by flight and making deductions for the trips, eventually buying a house and moving M and the cats there.

Today, I went to lunch with my ex-boss, and her parting words were I'm rooting for you and then I had a missed call from the recruiter and I called her and she said I didn't get the job.

And she was like "Let's get in touch on LinkedIn. There are other energy companies up here, we need to get you back up North."

I cried for about ten minutes, texted everyone, then some more at my desk; fantasized about resigning, and about staying so I can eventually afford to buy a house here, and thought of my co-worker who said if you don't like the company, just switch jobs.