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Jul. 1st, 2012 06:11 pmToday I feel guilt.
I did some bad, stupid, not okay things when I was 18-21. I never directly hurt anyone, but they were morally not OK, and I regret them. It's been more than ten years now, and they seem very far away. I can't imagine they ever happened or that I was ever that person.
A couple of times per year though, I start thinking about it. Today was one of those days, and for about ten minutes my heart was beating fast and my stomach felt like dropping out.
It is rather self-indulgant to feel guilty. It's not going to change the past, and the only thing I'll get out of it is focusing on myself and my feelings, and feeling sorry for myself. So I should stop.
But yeah, today I feel guilt.
I did some bad, stupid, not okay things when I was 18-21. I never directly hurt anyone, but they were morally not OK, and I regret them. It's been more than ten years now, and they seem very far away. I can't imagine they ever happened or that I was ever that person.
A couple of times per year though, I start thinking about it. Today was one of those days, and for about ten minutes my heart was beating fast and my stomach felt like dropping out.
It is rather self-indulgant to feel guilty. It's not going to change the past, and the only thing I'll get out of it is focusing on myself and my feelings, and feeling sorry for myself. So I should stop.
But yeah, today I feel guilt.
