And I'm back!
Aug. 11th, 2008 01:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kribbanWell, not completely. I'm back in Luleå at parents flat. It was nice at the cabin, although the weather didn't allow for bathing or boating.
I helped mom paint panels for the cabin (they're putting up red wood panels over the existing walls to make future maintenance easier. We also did some Nordic Walking and sauna-ing.
On Friday we drove to IKEA in Haparanda. I bought some utensil- and plate holders (for dishes to dry in) there. We had meat balls and cake in their restaurant.
Yesterday we went to the waterfall above the Polar Circle and had dinner at a restaurant. (Steak and french fries.) In the evening we ate rhubarb pie that mom had made. So it was nice although there was mosquitoes and I was a bit bored.
It was also dampened a bit by my OCD. I started thinking about hell of all things. I remembered this woman on TV who had said that if you die in an unrepentent state of homosexuality you go to hell where eternal torment awaits you.
Depending on what mood I'm in, I'm either an atheist, where I don't believe hell, or I'm a Christian where I believe that God is good and loving and don't send people to hell.
But you know what it's like with OCD. You start thinking "What if?" What if God is evil and almighty and doesn't mind tormenting souls? Or what if God really is strict and hate sinners and sentence them to an eternity in hell? What is an eternity in hell really like? Every moment of your existence is pure and utter torment, each moment is worse than the next, yet you don't go insane with it, because insanity would mean relief.
I remembered seeing two separate TV shows that said that 6% of all who near death experiences experience going to hell rather than heaven. So it must exist, right.
When I was in the sauna and the air heated up rapidly for the first few seconds I imagined what it would be like to be on fire completely in hell. Of course, I couldn't imagine it.
It's rather trivial, isn't it? Why would God, or anyone, want to physically harm people forever and ever? And if you don't have a body... Of course there's the OCD monster inside me saying (Don't type that! You'll upset Him further!)
Yeah, I know.
On the plus side, I've talked to God more than usual in the past few days. :-)
Today I'll go to a café and to the movies with my friend Helen. We're going to see the X-files, which I look forward too. I go home tomorrow, and on Wednesday it's cruise time with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elenhinstar, yay! Now it's time for lunch.
I helped mom paint panels for the cabin (they're putting up red wood panels over the existing walls to make future maintenance easier. We also did some Nordic Walking and sauna-ing.
On Friday we drove to IKEA in Haparanda. I bought some utensil- and plate holders (for dishes to dry in) there. We had meat balls and cake in their restaurant.
Yesterday we went to the waterfall above the Polar Circle and had dinner at a restaurant. (Steak and french fries.) In the evening we ate rhubarb pie that mom had made. So it was nice although there was mosquitoes and I was a bit bored.
It was also dampened a bit by my OCD. I started thinking about hell of all things. I remembered this woman on TV who had said that if you die in an unrepentent state of homosexuality you go to hell where eternal torment awaits you.
Depending on what mood I'm in, I'm either an atheist, where I don't believe hell, or I'm a Christian where I believe that God is good and loving and don't send people to hell.
But you know what it's like with OCD. You start thinking "What if?" What if God is evil and almighty and doesn't mind tormenting souls? Or what if God really is strict and hate sinners and sentence them to an eternity in hell? What is an eternity in hell really like? Every moment of your existence is pure and utter torment, each moment is worse than the next, yet you don't go insane with it, because insanity would mean relief.
I remembered seeing two separate TV shows that said that 6% of all who near death experiences experience going to hell rather than heaven. So it must exist, right.
When I was in the sauna and the air heated up rapidly for the first few seconds I imagined what it would be like to be on fire completely in hell. Of course, I couldn't imagine it.
It's rather trivial, isn't it? Why would God, or anyone, want to physically harm people forever and ever? And if you don't have a body... Of course there's the OCD monster inside me saying (Don't type that! You'll upset Him further!)
Yeah, I know.
On the plus side, I've talked to God more than usual in the past few days. :-)
Today I'll go to a café and to the movies with my friend Helen. We're going to see the X-files, which I look forward too. I go home tomorrow, and on Wednesday it's cruise time with
elenhinstar, yay! Now it's time for lunch.
