I had a powerful dream this morning
Jan. 15th, 2004 02:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kribbanFirst off: I have hardly had time to be online this week, I shall read my LJ friends list hopefully today.
Second: This day has been tainted by a very powerful dream I had this morning during my final stint of sleep. In case anyone asks, I slept long and well.
Bean and Viggo were in Ice Age, Bean played Diego and they talked on the DVD about Bean's death scene and Viggo said how much he loved doing Ice Age, and there was love there etc. It was just like on the FOTR EE DVD, sort of. You know where they talk about the shoot.
And then I was some woman, with some other women, who had been working on some other movie, for seven years also, and there was almost a competition on what crew loved each other the most and what shoot was the most incredible experience!
It's crammed down our throat so much in the PR material and on the DVDs just how amazing the LOTR shoot was and how much they all loved each other etc. And then you hear it about all other films as well nowadays, I've noticed, LOL!
So anyway, these people were like this, but it wasn't a fantasy film but a mundane film, with Michael Douglas but with some psychotriping scenes. This was some sort of reunion, years after the film was completed and they were all watching the director's commentary in a big, empty cinema downtown where I live, and the film was like nine hours long or something, so they went out and smoked and talked every now and then. It was basically a nostalgic reunion.
Then some other stuff happened, someone said: "hey! It's time for the death scene, come on!" and everyone squeeed and rushed inside the theater. And then all of a sudden highschool graduates were floating by in boats, because suddenly our city did not just have a canal running through it, but was shot through with canals just like Venice.
In Sweden, the graduates dress in white, with their caps and their champagne glasses and flowers, and drive around in cars making noises, but here they were in boats making noise. And it was all about... the graduates were young and celebrating the most important day of their lives, and the film crew people were remembering something that was awesome and long but is in the past, and furthermore wasn't a fantasy film or as spectacular an experience as LOTR, but they were trying to make it seem that way.
It was all about... big adventures either long gone or never having happened at all.
I was so absolutely heart broken when I woke up. And then I thought of it all being over for the boys now, and how I never really had an adventure, not even remotely smaller then the Fellowhip had, I've never even been in love, and how Elijah said he'll never do another fantasy film and that he'll only do mundane films from now on, and be a mundane person, and that he's not really the way we write him in our fics, but a much more advanced and complicated person, and that he does have things in his past that aren't particularly happy.
And then I started thinking of ROTK, that it wasn't as good as I had hoped (though it's still good,) and that whole disappointment, and I thought of when we first saw FOTR and got into that whole obsession, and how much it meant to me, and what a different person I was then, and how different my life was compared to now, and how I waited and expected and how it all turned out, and that it's sort of a gigantic anticlimax for me, and that everything is over.
So, I felt absolutely devestated. It wasn't an angsty dream, just a very quiet and sad and melancolic one. I felt like my heart was breaking. I just lay there and felt sorrow and grief wash over me.
It's odd how dreams can make you feel. The world is changing and the time for adventures has come to an end.
I also feel like a bit of a traitor (!) since I didn't absolutely love ROTK 100% and I feel guilty and shunned from fandom, and like I'm the only person in the world to feel this way (which makes me kind of lonely) and that they would all be disappointed in me (the LOTR people) and feel I was disloyal to them.
Second: This day has been tainted by a very powerful dream I had this morning during my final stint of sleep. In case anyone asks, I slept long and well.
Bean and Viggo were in Ice Age, Bean played Diego and they talked on the DVD about Bean's death scene and Viggo said how much he loved doing Ice Age, and there was love there etc. It was just like on the FOTR EE DVD, sort of. You know where they talk about the shoot.
And then I was some woman, with some other women, who had been working on some other movie, for seven years also, and there was almost a competition on what crew loved each other the most and what shoot was the most incredible experience!
It's crammed down our throat so much in the PR material and on the DVDs just how amazing the LOTR shoot was and how much they all loved each other etc. And then you hear it about all other films as well nowadays, I've noticed, LOL!
So anyway, these people were like this, but it wasn't a fantasy film but a mundane film, with Michael Douglas but with some psychotriping scenes. This was some sort of reunion, years after the film was completed and they were all watching the director's commentary in a big, empty cinema downtown where I live, and the film was like nine hours long or something, so they went out and smoked and talked every now and then. It was basically a nostalgic reunion.
Then some other stuff happened, someone said: "hey! It's time for the death scene, come on!" and everyone squeeed and rushed inside the theater. And then all of a sudden highschool graduates were floating by in boats, because suddenly our city did not just have a canal running through it, but was shot through with canals just like Venice.
In Sweden, the graduates dress in white, with their caps and their champagne glasses and flowers, and drive around in cars making noises, but here they were in boats making noise. And it was all about... the graduates were young and celebrating the most important day of their lives, and the film crew people were remembering something that was awesome and long but is in the past, and furthermore wasn't a fantasy film or as spectacular an experience as LOTR, but they were trying to make it seem that way.
It was all about... big adventures either long gone or never having happened at all.
I was so absolutely heart broken when I woke up. And then I thought of it all being over for the boys now, and how I never really had an adventure, not even remotely smaller then the Fellowhip had, I've never even been in love, and how Elijah said he'll never do another fantasy film and that he'll only do mundane films from now on, and be a mundane person, and that he's not really the way we write him in our fics, but a much more advanced and complicated person, and that he does have things in his past that aren't particularly happy.
And then I started thinking of ROTK, that it wasn't as good as I had hoped (though it's still good,) and that whole disappointment, and I thought of when we first saw FOTR and got into that whole obsession, and how much it meant to me, and what a different person I was then, and how different my life was compared to now, and how I waited and expected and how it all turned out, and that it's sort of a gigantic anticlimax for me, and that everything is over.
So, I felt absolutely devestated. It wasn't an angsty dream, just a very quiet and sad and melancolic one. I felt like my heart was breaking. I just lay there and felt sorrow and grief wash over me.
It's odd how dreams can make you feel. The world is changing and the time for adventures has come to an end.
I also feel like a bit of a traitor (!) since I didn't absolutely love ROTK 100% and I feel guilty and shunned from fandom, and like I'm the only person in the world to feel this way (which makes me kind of lonely) and that they would all be disappointed in me (the LOTR people) and feel I was disloyal to them.
