Some kind of saviour

Eurovision is definitely happening, although in what form, no one knows.

But the competitive element will happen, there will be a winner, and it's.... Returned hope to me?

None of the 39 songs are an absolute OMG BEST SONG EVER to me, but there are several that are Quite Good, and that I'd be okay with winning, and I feel like.... I can care again?

Like, the Swedish representative is a bouncing baby boy, and he beat out 2011 winner Eric Saade, bouncing baby boy of 2011, whose win is always linked to Fukushima in my mind because it happened that week.

New decade, new twink.

I don't root for Sweden, but I don't feel ashamed of our representative.

Ragnar. <3

I have a vet appointment with Ragnar on Thursday to determine if he should get dementia meds or not. He's started screaming randomly - walking into a closet and SCREAMING. Walking outside on the balcony SCREAMING. In that WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE way that I'm sure no cat should ever scream.

So, hopefully, dementia meds, and then a slow, peaceful slope into death.

<3

I adopted him from the shelter in 2006 and the contract I signed said that I should take care of him until death to the best of my ability and I'll feel proud to have done that.

A couple of weeks ago, I took Ragnar to the vet to check on his teeth because his obsessive biting had gotten worse and his screaming (esp nightly) has been worse than ever.

To my shock, his teeth are fine, but he has backpain. Vet prescribed meds. Meds made him puke - a few days after I stopped giving him it he was puking blood. (Thank God for the washing machine!)

Another vet visit - vet prescribed anti-acid, easy-on-the-stomach food, and another pain medicine.

The following day Elsa's face started bleeding.



Called a vet who said it was probably allergies. Made an appointment on Thursday.

On Wednesday, she started bleeding even worse. Called the vet and asked if they had time. Packed Elsa into a cab and went.

Vet drew lots of blood with Elsa in a strait jacket.



Vet prescribed cortison which stopped the bleeding.

Started giving Ragnar his pain meds, which makes him sleep all the time now.



Took Elsa back to the vet for more blood to be drawn yesterday. The staff seems to love her.

I hope this is the end of it. Ragnar hasn't screamed for two days and Elsa hasn't bled since she went back to her old food.

I bought a lamp for my tomato plants yesterday. Five seeds = five plants (so far.)

My goal now is to make sure at least three plants survive. I'm gonna give one plant to M who has a balcony facing the south.

Oh, how I love the new Star Trek: The original series audiobooks narrated by Robert Petkoff! They seem to be releasing them fairly often; so much so that when I've finished one, my app recommends another one.

Robert Petkoff has a great, fairly neutral narration voice and does the character voices well (and doesn't overdo them!) including the more subtle ones like Sulu's.

Yes, reading a plain old book is good, but A) I have to sit or lie down to read. I can't exactly do housework or take walks while reading and those are two activities that are good for my well-being and B) audiobooks are a much more immersive experience for me than reading. I get to take part in a performance, and I like that!


These are the ones I've finished:

Agents of Influence by Dayton Ward

A spy thriller. Human Federations spies have been surgically altered to appear as Klingons and the Enterprise are sent to extract them. I thought this was fairly boring, but then again, I'm not a fan of spy thrillers. Someone who loves that genre might really like this book. The coolest part was Sulu piloting a shuttle through an asteroid field.


The Higher Frontier by Christopher L. Bennett. Almost a supernatural fantasy-drama, though it still fits within canon parameters. A group of blind, but telepathic Andorians are massacred. The Enterprise saves the survivors and it snowballs from there.

There's a very enlightened 1970's feel in this book. There is consciousness-raising and mentions of polyamory. Sulu is a single dad. (Yay, Demora.) Kirk admits to having had threesomes (and is adorably flustered.) There's also a tiny mention of the universe Discovery takes place in, which I think is a nice touch.

The most amazing scene is one where Sulu, Uhura, and Chekov discuss how displeased they are with the fictional tv holovid-series based on their lives. This is a scene taken straight from debates in the old fanzines, I'm sure! :-)


A Contest of Principles by Greg Cox

A straight-up action-adventure split into three parallel storylines. The Enterprise crew are acting as election observers (a thing that happens in the real world, kudos for accuracy.) McCoy is kidnapped. Spock and Chapel go on a mission to save him while Kirk is left to deal with the election.

I love McCoy, that's no secret, and he's at his best here, surly yet charming, trying to save himself but following his physician's oath at the same time.

Spock does some badass secret agent stuff, like meeting an informant in a sauna. There's another little Discovery-mention and a lesbian character, which is a complete non-event, as it should be.

This is my favorite book so far, and though it was obviously written before the 2020 US election, and probably not with any real nations in mind, the whole mission felt like something taken from real life.


Greg Cox has also written the book I'm listening to now, The Antares Maelstrom which is a gold-rush adventure story. I haven't gotten that far, but Sulu has his own separate storyline, which I always enjoy, and he has a romance with a woman I'm quite sure will be Demora's mother.


Honestly, don't produce any more shows/films/reboots. Just keep pumping out audiobooks, and I'm good to go.

Horrible day. Had a meeting at ten that made me want to quit even more.

Emailed my boss and said: "if this company is interested in having me as an employee, this company has to put forth an offer that is good enough to convince me to stay. I will not put up with the current working situation under any circumstances."

He responded with bla bla you are very important to the company bla bla we are working on a solution that we hope will satisfy you bla bla but we don't know when we will have it.

Watching the Lithuanian finale and the Swedish semi-finale one simultaneously:

WoW is so effective in brutally - and without finesse - causing emotional reactions.

M has played for the last ten years and she's shown me trailers over the years, and every single one makes me cry.

Look at this! You don't even need to know these characters or what the plot twist means to end up with shivers down your spine and tears in your eyes. Oh, how I wish we'll get another film (or TV series, live-action or animated) at some point!

I'm so sad, so immensely sad right now. I was fine this morning, and lunch, and now I'm sensitive ("why did I make that YouTube comment two years ago?" "Why doesn't that fan like me?")

I got meds - after a 15 minute telephone call - and I'm gonna start taking them after Christmas so the side effects don't ruin my holiday.

I'm so fucking sensitive about everything. Random internet troll saying that women shouldn't have the right to vote? Better take that shit super seriously!

All I want to do now is go home, make a cup of tea, and play World of Warcraft for five hours.

Yeah, so I talked to HR and she's been helpful, setting me up with therapy and having the CEO called me. He did this ten-minute speech where he apologized for not acting nicer to me and telling him how much he respects me and how important I am to the company.

I also had a long talk with my best colleague Sara who was very supportive, and also told me she hears ~all the time~ how scared people are that I will quit/get sick because they don't know what to do without me. So that's nice.

Porn is the only thing giving me life at the moment. And with porn, I mean fanfiction. And with life I mean resisting the urge to quit my job. (How can I get out of the rat race? The exit is not clearly marked. :O)